Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
