they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
