There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
