dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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