I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just had sex on a roof
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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