Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize