whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
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