me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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