His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
no you cant smoke seaweed
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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