I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
