Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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