she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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