That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
How's work?
Spinning.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
