Im at strip club and am horny
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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