We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
