i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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