ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
