i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
