I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
