Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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