I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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