belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize