I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Randomize
