we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
