He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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