SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
