Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My vagina is officially offended.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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