he wants to bone in the snuggie
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
