It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
