i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
