I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
