Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
