I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
