I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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