It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Dear god my vagina.
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