Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
