too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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