Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
