mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
