In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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