I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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