he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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