Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
