So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
