I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Dicks are not precious.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
