you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
