Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
