I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
