I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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