i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
