I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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