you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
