True but thats because hes a fetus.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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