i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
