Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
