xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We named our party play list daddy issues
you would pick up someone in the library
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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