So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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