he looks like a really good dad on facebook
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
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