just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Randomize
