that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
