He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
