There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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