he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My pussy is not your playground.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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