Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
