I smell stomach acid.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
