i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
