Me. At least after what I've been through.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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