GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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