im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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