i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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