Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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