And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
