im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
